Reading body language can be a powerful tool in understanding others, but it's not an exact science. Here's a succinct guide based on insights from Redditors on how to approach and interpret body language in conversations.

General Principles and Caveats

• Body Language is Not Exact: "Reading body language is not an exact science. There are broad generalizations, but every person will act differently to different stressors."

• Consider the Totality of Circumstances: "Body language must be read through a totality of the circumstances."

• Interpret Gestures in Groups: "Key thing to remember in reading others is that gestures shouldn't be interpreted individually but in groups."

• Comfort Can Influence Body Language: "So much of this is disproven by the fact I’ll sit and do whatever feels comfiest."

• Cultural Differences Matter: "There are cultures where making eye contact is seen as a sign of disrespect."

• Be Aware of Pseudoscience: "Be aware that reading body language has been called a pseudoscience by some"

Specific Body Language Cues

Eyes

• Eye Contact: Indicates engagement and listening. "If they're looking directly at you, they're listening clearly and stuff."

• Avoiding Eye Contact: Can imply lying, nervousness, or cultural differences. "Looking away could imply they're lying or just simply not bothered. Avoiding eye contact could mean that they're nervous so body language plays a big role."

• Rapid Blinking: May indicate anxiety or emotional arousal. "rapid blinking means they are feeling anxious/excited/generally emotionally aroused"

Feet

• Feet Direction: Reveals interest or desire to leave. "Feet: Facing towards you means they're interested. Facing away or sideways of you means they kinda want to get out of the convo."

• Subconscious Preparation: People often subconsciously orient their feet towards where they want to go. "look at people's feet to see where their attention is. They subconsciously prepare to walk there"

Hands and Arms

• Crossed Arms: Can indicate closure, discomfort, or holding back expression. "folded, they most likely are somewhat holding themselves back from expressing themselves and not necessarily happy."

• Protecting Chest/Stomach: Suggests discomfort with the situation. "Protecting chest/stomach (arms crossed, grabbing one wrist) means they are uncomfortable w/ the situation"

• Steepling Hands: Often used to project confidence or superiority. "Steepling hands is not fucking confidence. It's a pedantic sign of someone putting on an innocent face when they're not."

Posture

• Leaning Forward: Indicates interest. "Leaning forward (Interested)"

• Leaning Back/Folded Arms: Suggests disinterest or boredom. "Leaning back (uninterested), resting head on one hand (bored), folded arms (most likely won't remember anything you say)."

• Taking Up Space: Indicates comfort and confidence. "taking up space, stretching, open body language, hands behind back means they are very comfortable in the situation"

Facial Expressions

• Fake Smiles: Often lack the involvement of the eyes. "You've got to raise your cheeks and squint your eyes a little. You don't even have to smile with your mouth anymore."

• Micro-Expressions: Brief, involuntary facial expressions that can reveal true emotions. "Paul Ekman, along with other psychologists, spent years studying the face and its muscles so that we can have a better understanding of micro-expressions and emotion"

Learning Resources and Practice

• Books:

  • "Body Language - How to read others' thoughts by their gestures" by Allan Pease

  • "What Every Body is Saying" by Joe Navarro

  • "The Like Switch"

• Shows: "Lie To Me"

• Practice: Observe people in real-life settings like malls or cafes. "It's a good exercise to go to a mall or something and spend some time observing."

Subreddits for Further Inquiry

• r/bodylanguage

• r/socialskills

• r/IWantToLearn