One thing I see misunderstood a lot is the idea that some people are just naturally good at social situations and others aren’t. Or some people just have confidence and others don't.

I work with neurodivergent folks who want to improve their social abilities - usually with the end goal of making more friends, getting a job, and having a more meaningful life. Social ease really comes down to specific, learnable skills. Sure, natural charisma, confidence, or being extroverted can go a long way, but they aren't essential to building social skills form the ground up.

I'm not a huge fan of "tips". Maybe that comes from my work with those on the autism spectrum... I just think tips only go so far. To me, the real trick is to be able to practice without any social pressure or overstimulation. My professional work actually inspired me to create the Chatterfly Social Skills App for this reason - sometimes supportive practice is inaccessible or social anxiety is so intense that even 1:1 work with a professional feels overwhelming. But, if you can access low-pressure, supportive access then I find breaking skills down and repeated practice helps build skills confidence the most. When you've practiced enough, it becomes easier to access skills in the moment and reduces cognitive load (which is the source of a lot of overwhelm especially for the people I work with).

Curious how others here think about the line between social engineering vs. simply reducing cognitive load in everyday interactions. Where do you draw it?