Two years ago, I couldn't order pizza over the phone without rehearsing it five times first. Going to parties gave me panic attacks. Making small talk felt like trying to speak a foreign language I'd never learned.

Now I can start conversations with strangers, speak up in meetings, and actually enjoy social situations.

Here's what worked for me:

1. Start stupidly small. Don't jump into deep conversations first. Start with "thank you" to the cashier. Nod at people walking by. Say "good morning" to your neighbor. Build the muscle slowly. It doesn't matter if its small talk just learn to get into the habit of talking.

2. Ask questions instead of trying to be interesting. "How's your day going?" "What brings you here?" People love talking about themselves. You don't need to be funny or clever just genuinely curious. Plus it makes conversations longer.

3. Use the 3-second rule. When you want to say something but feel scared, count to 3 and force yourself to speak. Don't give your brain time to talk you out of it. The longer you negotiate with your brain the harder it will feel like.

4. Embrace being awkward. I said weird stuff deliberately. I stumbled over words. I had uncomfortable silences. Guess what? People forgot about it in 5 minutes, but I remembered that I survived it. People move on.

5. Find your "social training ground". For me, it was the gym. Same people every day, low-stakes conversations. Find a place where you can practice regularly with the same group. Could also be in the library.

6. Stop apologizing for existing. "Sorry, can I ask you something?" became "Can I ask you something?" "Sorry to bother you" became "Excuse me." Stop starting conversations like you're inconveniencing people. It's not a mistake you were born. So stop being sorry all the time.

7. Remember: Everyone's focused on themselves. That embarrassing thing you said? They're not thinking about it they're worried about what they said. Everyone's too busy being self-conscious to judge you as much as you think. That's why letting overthinking get the best of us never ends well.

How it changed my mindset:

• Social skills are skills. Like riding a bike or playing guitar. You suck at first, then you get better with practice. The only difference is everyone expects you to already know how to be social.

• Once I stopped trying so hard to avoid awkwardness, I became less awkward. When you're not constantly monitoring yourself, you can actually be present in conversations.

• If you take nothing else from this just remember you don't overcome shyness by waiting until you feel confident. You build confidence by doing scary social things while feeling scared.

Start with one small interaction today. Say hi to someone. Ask how their day is. The world won't end, and you'll prove to yourself you can do it.

Let me know if you've used any of the tactics above.